


Shadow's Despair

by Grimm_Marshmello



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Dark Sand Caused Sickness, Dark Sand Infection, Depressed Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood), Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Hallucinations, Loosely based on Author's experiences, Mental Breakdown, Minor Character Death, Minor Suicidal Thoughts, No I haven’t been possessed yet, Panic Attacks, Pitch's Revenge, Sick Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:29:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29236092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grimm_Marshmello/pseuds/Grimm_Marshmello
Summary: 50 years after Pitch's defeat, he comes back for revenge against the one who caused him so much trouble in his previous battle, the Deus ex Machina of the Guardians. Pitch knows that he can't just rush in and kill a Guardian... he can take them down from the inside though.Jack struggles to keep his sanity and wellbeing after a shot of dark sand leaves him with some interesting side effects. This time, a little willpower and determination might not save the day for Jack.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	1. An Eye for an Eye

**Author's Note:**

> This is my comfort movie and I regret nothing. I'll do my best to make you cry
> 
> Content warnings will be at the beginning of every chapter and tags may change as I write this, I am forgetful 
> 
> Content Warning: Descriptions of injuries (mildly graphic??)
> 
> Update: I was a tired dumbass when I posted this and forgot to mark it as a multi-chapter thing. Don't worry it doesn't just end here

Jack’s breath huffed in and out as he gripped his staff harder. Searching all directions for an enemy he couldn’t see. It was winter! This was his lake, his game, so why was it so exhausting? 

“is it getting hard?” a voice whispered in his ear, but when he turned around there was nothing there, “keeping your place among the children? What about the Guardians?”

Jack growled and shot a bolt of ice into the dark trees. He knew where he stood with the Guardians. He was Jack Frost, the Guardian of fun. Nothing could change that. The echoing laughter made him waver though, it was so…  _ unnerving _ . 

Jack smirked and feigned calm, “What do you want Pitch? Are you just that eager to get your ass kicked again?” 

The only answer came as a black axe flying towards his head. Ducking out of the way he shot another bolt into the shadows. Every tree seemed to move, every flicker of moving shadow had him tensing. The gnarled wood of his staff dug splinters into his hands. He could feel his heartbeat rising, his hands shaking, but no! He couldn’t give in, that’s what Pitch wanted. 

He needed to get out of here. He couldn’t keep this up forever and Pitch wasn’t giving him a break. Slamming his staff on the ground for an icy burst, he shot into the air, carried by the winds. 

Behind him, a wall of smokey shadows rose. Standing in the center surrounded like the hood of a snake was Pitch. Five tendrils tore out of the mass and latched onto Jack’s unsuspecting wrists and ankles, leaving one to snatch his staff away and throw it to the ground one hundred feet below. 

Jack gasped and struggled, abandoning his confident act. Pitch’s face twisted into a sadistic, cruel smile. Jack’s eyes went wide as he struggled harder, fighting to get loose as Pitch moved closer. Was this it? Was this where he died? Could he even be killed without fading away from no believers?

Pitch grabbed Jack’s face and pulled him close to his own. His nails dug into the boy’s cheeks, almost enough to draw blood, “You have been an annoying menace for too long, Jack Frost. It was  _ you _ that doomed me, threw me back to the shadows to rot,” he raised his hand and a small amount of black sand swirled into it, forming a small spike no bigger than his middle finger, “I’ve been saving this for a long time.”

The next couple of seconds appeared to drag on forever. Pitch wound up to stab Jack with the spike to exact his revenge. He saw the spike aimed right at him and twisted his wrist in the shadow cuffs, feeling something crack but continuing to grab the attached chain. Jack froze the chain, causing it to burst and shatter, throwing both spirits back. Unfortunately, this wasn’t before Pitch shoved the spike forward, only thrown off slightly by the force of the ice, sending the black spike straight into Jack’s eye.

Jack’s agonizing scream ripped through the cold night air, cut off when he hit a tree, slowing his plummet to the ground below. He didn’t even have time to react before he hit another tree, resulting in another cracking sound. Crashing to the snow-covered ground was like an act of mercy. He curled onto his side, clutching his left eye as the sand shifted and scratched, almost like it was trying to spread. Strangled sobs and screams fell from his mouth against his will, he didn’t even know he could make those noises. His whole body shook violently, which only further aggravated his newly broken ribs and wrist. 

Jack had forgotten about Pitch until the man stood before him, staring at the boy writhing on the ground, “Goodnight, Frost. You and I will meet again soon.” 

With that, Pitch raised his foot and drove his heel down on Jack’s head. The last thing Jack saw was Pitch melting into the shadows in the trees, then everything faded to black.

* * *

The world came back to him in pieces. First, he heard the indistinct chatter, snippets of voices floating around him. He couldn’t quite put the words together but they sounded worried. Next, his sense of feeling came. Immediately he gasped and tried to move as the throbbing pain made itself known. The sound he made was indescribable, something full of desperation and fear, which only worsened when hands grabbed his arms and shoulders. His chest seemed to grate on itself when he breathed in too deep but he couldn’t stop the panic. 

“Jack, Jack hey! It's okay, you're okay,” was the first clear sentence he heard. He knew that voice, that was Tooth, if she was here then Pitch was gone right? 

Slowly, he attempted to see what was going on. He cracked his eyes open just to squeeze them shut again at the onslaught of light. 

“Ah, bugger. Sandy, kill the lights!” that was... Bunny? He was here too? 

When he opened his eyes again, the room was light only by candles and he was met with friendly faces. He saw his staff leaning against the wall across from his bed and a big window to his left. Outside stood the familiar snow-covered mountains surrounding the North Pole. So, this was his bedroom in North’s place. 

Tooth reached forward to touch Jack’s hand, but the way he jumped and looked at her with wide eyes made her pull back. Instead, she put on a smile, “Jack, I know you're probably a bit confused right now. We patched up your wounds but, um... there are a couple of things we were hoping you could tell us about. Can you do that please?” 

“How did I get here?” 

“We found you all battered up near your lake. You said you would come this morning and never showed up. What in the name of Koreshchenko happened there?” North said. 

Jack stared at his lap for a minute. Should he tell them what really went down? What if they don't trust him to go out on his own after that? He chewed his lip, pondering his choices. Finally, he settled with, “Pitch found me.” 

The effect of those words was instant. Tooth’s hands flew to her mouth with an audible gasp, Sandy gave him a concerned look and a question mark above his head, Bunny’s hackles raised as he tensed and North folded his arms with a furrowed brow. 

“Pitch hurt you like that? Is he even powerful enough to do that anymore?” Bunny asked. 

Jack shrugged and wrapped an arm around his sore ribs. They were definitely better than before but not fully healed. Fast healing was one of the perks of being the Man in the Moon’s chosen ones. He pushed himself into a sitting position with a grunt and chose his words carefully, “He wanted revenge of sorts, for beating him before. I guess I was just too good for him,” he grinned wryly. 

Maybe if he left out the whole bit about the sand in the eye, he would be fine. They didn't need to know every little thing about him anyway. The eye wasn't getting any better though. He was sure they didn't notice anything different but his vision did have a slight distortion to it, almost like everything around him had a faint aura like haze. No big deal. 

North made his way to the door, “We will be on the watch for him now, you get some rest, Jack.” 

The rest of the Guardians filed out of the room after one last glance at their friend. It was only Sandy that stopped before leaving. He held up a ball of dream sand, which Jack interpreted as an offer to put him to sleep. Jack just shook his head, “No thanks, I think I’ll be good for now,” and tried to convey his appreciation in a soft smile. 

Settling back on his bed, he stared at the ceiling before drifting asleep again, peacefully this time. 

The next time Jack wakes up, he is greeted by two elves running around on his bed, jumping and frantically shaking their bells right in his ear. Annoyed, he swatted the elves away from him with a few choice words and made his way out from under his self-cooling blankets. Only then was it that he felt the layer of sweat covering him and the tightness of dried tears on his face. Putting the pieces together, he figured the elves caught him in the middle of a nightmare.  _ Well, that’s strange _ he thought,  _ I don’t remember any nightmares _ . No answers magically came to him so he promptly grabbed his staff and continued his path to the globe room. 

North paced in front of the globe, rapidly mumbling to himself in Russian that nobody could understand (actually Sandy could but he felt it was better to let North think he was speaking only to himself). Bunny tapped an impatient foot on the wooden floors, shooting a questioning eyebrow at Tooth who cleared her throat, “Uh… North? English please.” She spoke as kindly as she could. 

“Something is very wrong here… we don’t know the whole truth. Pitch must have a plan, he is strategist, not mere idiot. We must be on high alert.”

This was the moment Jack walked in, observing the way each guardian put a smile on their face. He tried to keep his eye roll internal. 

“Ah, Jack! Glad to see you awake, how do you feel?” 

Jack’s face twitched, his fist clenched his staff until his knuckles were white, “I’m fine,” he said shortly. Something about this moment was putting him off, but he just couldn’t figure it out. 

Bunny tilted his head, watching Jack’s body language closely. He noticed the tight grip the spirit had on his staff, the way he hunched his shoulders and lowered his head slightly as if he was curling in on himself. The tension was clear, but the question is whether to try and defuse the bomb or let it go off. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? I’m sure Sandy can check you, just to be sure.” Tooth was clearly concerned, she often fretted over them, especially Jack. She wrung her hands and hovered closer to him. 

Bunny watched the tension grow stronger as Tooth continued to try and console the clearly agitated time bomb. Maybe defusing was a better idea. 

“Hey, give him some space. He’s up, he walks, it’s all good. If he needs help, he can–”

“Will you all just stop?” Jack yells, cutting Bunny off. Too late, hold onto your pants people, it’s explosion time. 

Sandy approaches Jack first, lowering his hands, which Jack knows means something along the lines of ‘chill out’. He growls back, “Stay out of it Sandy, go play on a cloud.”

“Jack!” North slams his fist on the control panel beside him, “What is with you? It is understandable if your fight with Pitch put you on edge, but why are you mad at us?”

“Did I ever say I was mad at you?”

“It’s pretty clear mate, you’re not usually the loudest one in the room. What’s got your knickers in a bunch?” There was no way Bunny expected Jack to answer him calmly at this point, he was too wrapped up in his anger. His comment would definitely piss Jack off more, but an angry answer was better than no answer. 

“Are you serious? Just lay off, Kangaroo. I don’t need you or anyone else coddling me! I’m not some incompetent child you need to take care of, I don’t need you walking on eggshells just because I took a hit! In fact, if you want to know what happened just ask me! You’re wasting air on stupid things instead of getting to the point!” Nobody knew what to say, they were all speechless, Jack’s outburst was so uncharacteristic that there was no appropriate response. Jack huffed and turned his back to the other Guardians, “Just leave me alone,” he snapped and left. 


	2. A Touch of Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: Cotten Eyed Joe
> 
> Chasing shadows is never fun, especially when they chase back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so while I was writing this, I wrote a line and ended up stopping that night because my brain kept playing Cotton Eyed Joe on repeat. If you see that line join this hell with me.
> 
> TW: Panic attacks, Dissociation (nothing is super explicit)

Jack paced his room, debating his next actions. That burning pit of anger had dissipated after he left the rest of the Guardians, leaving hollowness and confusion in its wake. Logically, he knew they were just concerned for him, but something in him had snapped before he had a chance to see what it was. In all honesty, it kind of scared him. The realization that even your own emotions and reaction can seem to have a mind of its own chilled him to the bone. 

He blinked back into reality when a sharp pain stabbed his foot. Jumping back he saw what he had stepped on: a spike of ice, just an inch tall. Then he looked around him and noticed the ground around him littered with at least one hundred little ice spikes. His feet were covered in frost and the air was significantly colder than its natural temperature. 

With a slam of his staff, the spikes shattered into dust-like glass. How strange, that usually only happened when he was stressed out. With a tired sigh, he slumped on his bed, burying his face in his hands. He could feel the beginning of a headache coming on, centred behind his eyes and reaching up to his forehead.

A soft knock echoed from the other side of the heavy wooden door, “Jack, can I come in?” 

He sat wide-eyed for a second, panicking. North was probably coming to talk to him about earlier. Did he know Jack was hiding things from them? Oh no, he needed to answer soon or North would get worried! Adjusting himself on the bed he spoke, “Uh- Yeah, yeah come in. The door’s unlocked.”

Jack waited until North was settled on the bed beside him, hands folded in his lap with a serious face, “I’m- I’m sorry about earlier. I had a bad day and took it out on you guys.” Oh god, admitting that made him wish he could hide in a hole forever. 

North put a hand on Jack’s thin shoulders, “It is alright Jack. Nobody is mad at you, we understand,” the hesitation made Jack’s skin crawl, “are you okay, truly?”

Jack smiled up at the Russian man, “Yeah of course. I’m barely even sore now. No need to worry.”

“Really? But you’re sitting on your bed.”

Jack blinked, staring at North, who was clearly pleased with himself. Jack rolled his eyes and folded his arms, “You know I can sit on more than just tables. I just choose not to.”

North’s booming laugh filled the room, “Right, fences and windowsills, how could I forget,” he stood up to make his way to the door, “Tooth has business with another division of collectors tomorrow, she wants you to come with her.”

“I’m not much of a diplomat.”

“Of course not, but you’re good with the fairies. Besides, being alone right now might not be the best idea.”

Jack shrunk back and dropped his gaze. They didn’t trust him to be on his own anymore? He wasn’t weak. He wasn’t defenceless. He didn’t need their help.

* * *

It had been a while since Jack had visited Tooth’s Palace. If memory served correctly, it must have been twenty years ago. That may seem long, but to an immortal being, that passed like a week. The golden spires and glittering mosaic floors always left him speechless in awe. All the rusting and damage done from Pitch’s first attack was now restored and it appeared to have grown even more.  The tooth cylinder library had more protection than ever, each of the seven towering columns had new, colossal golden knights protecting them. 

Tooth was already in her main chamber with the head of the Australian division, discussing the possibility of recruitment for more fairies and other spirits as escorts for the tooth collectors.

Tooth had been in a rush and left before giving him proper instructions, leaving Jack to wander the palace on his own. He hopped from spire to spire, watching the fairies work with admiration; he knew first hand how hard the job was. 

Jack rubbed an irritated eye when a flash of light reflecting off the golden mirror-like walls temporarily blinded him. Blinking it away, something moved behind a wall, too quick to solidly make out, but either way, it was black and black usually meant Pitch. 

Jack dashed after it, chasing the quick glances around corner after corner. At some point he chased the ever-fleeting shadow into a maze of corridors, pushing himself to keep up with little success. He hated not being able to properly fly in these corridors, they were much too small to maneuver through but he still pushed forward with boosts of air. Jack’s leg ached with exertion but he almost had it now! He lunged at the shadow, his fingers grazed the cold wisps, only for it to latch onto his wrist and throw him against the closest wall. 

He wasn’t sure what it was, the creature or the impact, but when he collided with the corridor wall, a wave of pure fear washed over him. His whole body subconsciously tensed up as his mind was dominated by one thought,  _ I need to get away from here _ . 

With a clumsy, staggering run, Jack tried to follow his path back to the spires. He didn’t turn back to look at the source of the scratching noise behind him. Five minutes of running yielded him with nothing but a racing heart and gasping breaths. 

Tired and overwhelmed, he dropped his staff and slumped to the ground of the corridor. He sat tensely and waited for the shadow to attack. It never came though, he was just alone in a dark, quiet hall. A desperate, strangled cry fell from his mouth as he gripped his hair tightly, maybe even too tightly. 

He couldn’t make sense of what was going on. Where did the shadow come from? Where did it go? What was he so afraid of? Why did it feel like his chest was being crushed? He curled in on himself tighter, allowing his eyes to well up with tears he quickly wiped away with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

What he saw on his sleeve terrified him more than he thought was physically possible. His whole body trembled like a leaf in the winds as he examined the new black smudges on his old blue hoodie. Was this an after effect of the sand in his eye? Maybe his body was just flushing it out? Deep down, he knew it was more than that. Pitch must have planned this.

All he could wonder was  _ what comes next? _

* * *

Tooth had almost finished arranging her deal with the head sugar glider of the Australian teeth collection unit when Baby Tooth came zipping in frantically. 

“M’lady, M’lady, come quick! It’s an emergency!” She cried, pulling at Tooth’s wing. 

Tooth apologized to the sugar glider, who was wholeheartedly accepting, and turned to the panicking sprite, “Baby Tooth, please! What’s going on? I’m in a meeting.”

“Jack ran off and now the underground is covered in ice and I can’t find him anywhere!” 

Tooth gasped and flew up from her seat. If there was danger, the knights should have been activated. Did something slip by?

Following Baby Tooth to the entrance of the underground, she noticed the shift in temperature. Shivering and nervous, she continued onward. 

The deeper she went into the winding tunnels, the more ice patches she saw piping up, some just a layer of frost while others had small spikes. 

When she finally found Jack, it stopped her in her path. The corridor was blocked by thick spears of ice, stretching from one wall to the next. Snowflakes and small crystals hung in the air, both menacing and beautiful. In the middle of it all sat Jack with his arms wrapped around his knees staring blankly at the wall in front of him. The most concerning thing she saw though, was the missing right sleeve of his beloved hoodie. 

Tooth turned back to Baby Tooth, “Tell the knights to keep a tight guard on the library and gather everyone available to check the palace top to bottom, something isn’t right here.” 

Baby Tooth gave a salute and zipped off through the tunnels. Now she needs to talk to Jack. 

Carefully avoiding the ice, she approached her friend and knelt on the ground in front of him. Unsure of how he would react, she made sure to keep a bit of distance between them. A moment of silence passed as Tooth waited for Jack to talk. Jack didn't start talking though, in fact, it seemed as though he hadn't even noticed her at all. His gaze was glued to the emptiness past her shoulder, unfocused and wide. 

“Jack?” she called softly, “are you okay? Baby Tooth said you ran off. Was something here?” she bit her lip and waited for him to respond in any way. This whole situation unnerved her deeply. She knew she didn't have all the information but clearly, something happened. 

She had never seen Jack act like this before. Sure, sometimes he was in a bad mood or wasn't feeling great and just didn't talk so much, but never had he seemed so shut off from the world. It sent a needle through her heart with the realization that despite knowing Jack personally for a considerable period of time, she still didn't know a whole lot about him. If she knew what would cause a reaction like this, she could know what kind of trouble there was and how to help him with it. 

Unsure if she was doing the right thing, she placed a slow hand on Jack’s bare arm. The reaction was instant. Scaring her as much as he seemed scared himself, he gasped and pulled back from her touch, scrambling backwards on the slippery floor. 

Tooth held her hands up in a surrendering, non-threatening gesture, “Woah, hey, it’s okay. Can you hear me, Jack?”

Jack visibly trembled and still stared over her shoulder but hey, he was responding now so she would take what she could get. He gave her a small nod, “Yeah. Sorry, I interrupted your meeting?” 

Tooth couldn't help but smile, even when clearly shaken, he took care of others. “Oh Jack, that's sweet hon, but don't you worry,” she hated to push him but she had to ask, “Was there something here?” 

Jack nodded. 

“Was it Pitch?” 

Another nod. 

“Do you know where it went?” 

“I think it left.” 

Tooth chewed her lip in thought. Had Pitch just wanted to scare them? No, she decided, she wouldn't worry about this now. The knights and fairies were on alert and nothing had been reported, right now Jack needed her. 

With Tooth’s offering hands, Jack pulled himself to his feet. She picked up his staff and slowly pulled him along the corridors and out into the open space below the hanging columns. 

Sitting him down on a nearby rock, she took a closer look at Jack’s mysteriously missing sleeve. Her eyes widened when she noticed the frozen threads where the sleeve should have been.  _ Did he do that, _ she thought. But surely he wouldn’t willingly damage his precious hoodie, he cherished it like his soul was attached to it. No, right now was not the time, she needed to help him. Tooth knew what to do though, she called out to Baby Tooth through their mental connection, who arrived seconds later, immediately examining Jack’s vacant face. 

“Jack, I’m going to pick up your hands okay? Baby Tooth is going to sit on them” 

Jack gave another wordless nod, moving his eyes in the general direction of his moving hands. Baby Tooth settled onto his cold palm, placing one of her tiny hands on his thumb to show her support. 

Tooth felt a warmth in her heart, she could feel how much Baby Tooth cared for her friend, “Alright, now can you tell me what you see?” 

Jack remained silent for a second, processing her question, “Uh… Baby Tooth?” 

Tooth nodded, “Ok, good start, what does she look like?” 

“You know what she looks like.” 

“I know, but explain it to me anyway, please?”

Jack huffed and began, “She’s small, she’s feathery, she has… um… a head feather.” 

Baby Tooth chirped her praise. Tooth moved to sit beside Jack, “You’re doing great, can you tell me about her colours?” 

“You ask a lot of questions. Her feathers are mostly blue, but there are some yellow ones too. Her eyes are pink too.” 

“You’re very perceptive Jack. Last question, what do you feel?” 

“Baby Tooth, she’s soft. I also feel… this rock, it’s rough. There’s a breeze too, I guess it comes from outside the mountain?” 

Tooth felt pride and relief when Jack looked up from Baby Tooth to stare directly at her when he asked his question. She nodded, “Yeah Punjam Hy Loo has natural tunnels the air comes in from,” she stood up and offered him his staff, “welcome back to the land of the living, Jack.” 

Jack deposited Baby Tooth on his shoulder and took his staff, shifting protectively around it. Taking in his surroundings, he recognized that he had never actually been to the bottom of the palace before, it was a stark difference from the bright columns above. 

“I think I’m going to head back now. I hope I didn’t ruin your meeting.” 

Tooth followed Jack up to a golden platform before answering, “My meeting was basically over, I already asked my fairies to escort our guest out. May I ask though, what happened to your sleeve?” 

Jack’s eyes widened, he wasn’t sure what to tell her. The scene flashed in his mind, the black smudge, his desperation to hide the evidence, the ice he used to cover his sleeve with the intention of breaking that little section of his sweater, the accidental surge of power from his panic. He shuffled his feet and rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh, I guess… the shadow! Yeah the shadow, it threw me into a wall. It must have ripped off then, maybe I can get it fixed. I’ll go ask North about that now. Goodbye!” 

Tooth sputtered out a goodbye as Jack took off into one of the tunnels leading outside. She turned back to continue her work, but couldn’t help watching the tunnel her friend had left from. Uneasiness grew by the second, she couldn’t stand the idea of him outside alone after being attacked twice in the past two days. 

It was then that the realization hit her, Baby Tooth was with him! Reaching through their connection again, she spoke, “Baby Tooth, I know I’m asking a lot of you today, but could you keep following Jack? Make sure he gets back safe?” 

Baby Tooth’s determination radiated through their bond, “Of course M’Lady!” 

Tooth projected her appreciation to her dear fairy. She should really think of something to do for all of her fairies for their hard work. 

* * *

By the time Jack got back to the North Pole, an uncomfortable sensation had set in behind his eyes. Expecting the oncoming headache, he slipped past the yetis as discretely as he could and made his way to his room. 

Standing outside the door he rethought his course of action though. The Guardians would expect him to be in his room, they would come talk to him. He sighed, as much as he cared about them he just couldn’t handle talking to them right now. Guilt swarmed him, how terrible was he that he couldn’t stand a conversation with his closest friends, his found family. 

Making fast work of it, he went into his room, pulled off his hoodie, set it on his bed to deal with later and flew out the window. There was one spot nobody wanted to go to if they didn’t have to, one place he loved. 

Settling himself on the snow-covered roof, he let out a measured breath. Half an hour went by of Jack tapping falling snowflakes, watching them crystallize in large sparkling patterns. The feeling never went away though. The uncomfortable sensation progressed into a dull throb, then a consuming pulse. 

Maybe he should tell somebody. The pain was edging on unbearable now. With practiced ease he picked himself up and slid down the curved roof, intending to catch the winds and fly up into a window. Of course, things didn’t go according to plan. 

Jack never thought to predict that the quick movements would make him dizzy, or that the temperature change from inside and outside the building would aggravate the pain. 

Clumsily shooting through the open window into the globe room, a strong wave of vertigo hit him, the world went grey and he dropped, crashing into the ground. He was sure his body probably hurt from the impact but all that was wiped away by the overwhelming pain in his head. 

The jingling of the elves’ bells as they frantically ran around only made things worse as he laid on the ground, unmoving and shaking. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move. If he were thinking clearly, he would definitely classify this as way past unbearable. Unfortunately for him, no matter how unbearable it would get, he can’t get away from his own head. Now he regretted avoiding everyone as he silently prayed for someone, to take the pain away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to use a section of this endnote to tell you guys about my real life version of things that happen to Jack since I am basing most of it on personal experience. Maybe it makes you feel less alone? I don't know.
> 
> First of all, the outburst at the end of Ch1 and beginning of Ch2. I am not a super emotional person and that's how I interpret Jack. The anger outbursts are jarring when they happen, especially without warning. You feel out of control but in the moment it's hard to care. not fun.
> 
> There's also the chase scene. The part I specifically put in there was being thrown against the wall and that rush of fear. I do figure skating, so one day I was working on a spin but I kept falling. Everything was going fine until I fell on this one try. I have no idea why but when I hit the ground I just knew I had to get out of there. Suddenly the people around me and the music all just screamed danger. I ended up getting off the ice then and going home early. 
> 
> Finally the corridor scene. I didn't write that in Jack's perspective because I'm not sure how to convey someone's inner thought when their mind is blank and scattered. I find it hard to think clear lines of thought when this happens and usually just stare at a wall. What Tooth was doing was grounding Jack, something my therapist did with me before. I had a hard time getting out of the spaciness and all he had to do was ask me questions about my red boots and before I knew it I was telling him all about them!
> 
> So anyway, kudos are amazing and I love the comments I've gotten so far! I honestly love talking to you guys so don't be afraid to talk or ask a question! I will respond!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! I'll be working on more chapters but no promises timeline wise, I'm slow and lack motivation most days.
> 
> I love responding to comments and hearing what everyone has to say, general comments, praise and criticism alike!
> 
> Keep your heads up lovelies!
> 
> \- Mello, your friendly neighbourhood lesbian


End file.
